Post Baby Body

I'm sure you've heard a myriad of mantras about mother's bodies. I find there is a spectrum from 'you should achieve your pre baby body' to 'you will never achieve your pre baby body'. I have personally found these polar opposites unhelpful. I admit I have occasionally stumbled upon a few platforms that fall in the middle somewhere, with pictures and info that is both realistic and helpful. Nevertheless I am on a hazy journey to settle in my own self about this new body that I carry.

I wasn't prepared for the loose skin, stretch marks, soft breasts, tummy fat, muffin tops, thinning hair, dark under eyes and sweaty armpits. Why is it that these variations of a normal female body are often categorised as unattractive? I am shocked that after spending so much time with women as a midwife, I am still adjusting to the reality of a body that has carried and given a new life. If I'm brutally honest I just assumed these things wouldn't happen to me. HAHA wow. I'm ashamed by my previous thoughtlessness, and insensitivity.

One particularly frustrating memory falls around week 3 after birthing Owen. I was feeling all the feelings of fresh motherhood, AND I was absolutely overwhelmed by my new body. A few women from my friends/family seemed to 'bounce back' to their pre baby weight and shape effortlessly. Here I was with no clothes that fit, no self confidence, and little energy to realistically wade through the thoughts that were swirling in my mind. On top of this I was starving constantly - HELLO breastfeeding hunger! So I ventured to Pinterest to find snack ideas for a breastfeeding Mumma. To my disappointment, every article was prefaced with 'get rid of baby fat', 'slim down after baby', 'bounce back after baby', 'diet to loose extra baby weight'... I became SO angry. Matt copped an earful on our walk that afternoon. I cried to him about the harsh expectations that are cast onto new mums. And a part of me mourned over the fact that companies literally prey upon vulnerable new mothers in order to make a sale. HOW RIDICULOUS that I should be made to feel that my body wasn't right just as it was, and that I NEEDED some diet or product to improve me? Unfortunately my Pinterest search triggered targeted Instagram and Facebook ads for teas, tonics, powders, supplements etc for the same shameful purpose.

The point of this poorly organised rambling is to *kindly* remind you, reader, to SCREW THEM! Honestly. Purge your little screen of the unhelpful projections and surround yourself with the helpful encouragements you need on your OWN journey. If you are a believer of Christ, start listening harder to your heavenly fathers opinion of you. Listen to your partner affirming your beauty. Thank your body for the incredible miracle it hosted for 9 months. Be a little more gentle on yourself, and on the mothers around you - who else knows that women seem to be the harshest judges of other women? Stop that.

I can confirm that things change with time. I'm writing this now as Owen is almost 5 months old, and I am looking more like the pre baby woman that I remember. Breastfeeding is great for helping to stay fit and healthy. Running around after a small totally dependent child is also great incidental exercise (mothers of crawlers, walkers, runners can attest to this). Find something you enjoy, for me its been the occasional Pilates workout, and recently RUNNING! (a post on this exciting development to come). Eat often and well. Also eat cake and waffles and say yes to ice-cream. Worrying less seems to get you further, and leaves more room to cherish the bundle of joy looking up at you from your strong arms.

I can also confirm that Greek yoghurt pots, hummus with carrots/crackers, dried fruit and nuts, apple slices with peanut butter, and lactation cookies are PERFECT and easy breastfeeding snacks. I though of these on my OWN thankyou Pinterest.

All the best Mumma.

You've got this.

J.M. xx

(Piccy from the walk that afternoon).